It’s amazing how adversity can reveal things in you that you didn’t even see or maybe thought might be true …but you hoped weren’t true. I am constantly realizing things inside me that I wished weren’t there and especially these last months. But when I look to Him, I realize it is part of the process of my mind being transformed. My recent lesson was on confidence. Confidence in Him.

At the river, one of the best perks are the birds. We sit on the pier or the porch and watch. They are amazing…especially the eagles and ospreys. They are consummate fishermen.

Eagles will perch in a tree in a perfect position to watch for fish.  Or when they are in flight, circling the water, you know the moment they spot fish. They get into the perfect position and go into a dive straight to the water. After crashing head-first into the water, they rise with a fish in their beak or their talons.

No hesitation.

That’s when I realized I hesitate.  

I’ve never seen an eagle or an osprey head into a death dive to capture their prey and just before hitting the water pull up. They don’t stop and wonder if they will capture the fish. They don’t stop and wonder if they will break their neck. They don’t wonder if they will drop the fish. They dive right in and do what eagles and ospreys do…fish.

Our Father has been so gracious and kind. He has performed marvel after marvel in Baxter’s journey through lymphoma. We have placed our faith in Him and He has been faithful. Every single time.

But today is scan day. And there it is. What will they show? Abba God promised healing and Baxter is in complete remission. The doctors tell us the treatment he had will continue to fight the lymphoma for the next 10 years. 

But there it is. That voice that I don’t know if it is my flesh or the evil one that whispers, “What if?” That 1% of the faith place in me that tries to wonder if God will really do what He says He will do. Does that negate my faith? No. I think it’s just part of this fallen flesh we all dwell in. Because I know that I know He is faithful and He is able.

So Father has encouraged me to have confidence. Believe that we can, like those beautiful eagles and ospreys, have confidence. Just take our position in Him and dive right into life and all it brings. No hesitation. No wondering. Just know. I am able…you are able…as God’s children, we are able.

That tiny place may never stop trying to speak to our hearts and discourage us. Keep us from walking in our identity as His children. As long as we live in a fallen world, those things remain. But it does not negate our faith in Him. 

In my life, when that voice speaks, I respond, “You are not my Father. You have no place or part in me. Go straight to the feet of Yeshua for Him to deal with as He will. Whatever you say, is not what HE says.” (Sometimes that voice doesn’t listen and we must repeat ourselves.)

Have confidence. It’s not about what we are able to do…but it is all about what HE can do. When we are looking at Him and not ourselves, we realize this more and more. Our confidence comes from Him. Who He is.

That tiny place in our faith that tries to make us lose heart is nothing. Look to Him..He will increase our faith. Have confidence in what He can do.