And their father Jacob said to them, “You have bereaved me of my children: Joseph is no more, and Simeon is no more, and you would take Benjamin; all these things are against me.”
Then Reuben spoke to his father, saying, “You may put my two sons to death if I do not bring him back to you; put him in my care, and I will return him to you.”
But Jacob said, “My son shall not go down with you; for his brother is dead, and he alone is left. If harm should befall him on the journey you are taking, then you will bring my gray hair down to Sheol in sorrow.” Genesis 42:36-38 NASB

Almost every time I read this portion of scripture, I envision a broken and untrusting Jacob. Definitely, we hear grief, but can’t you hear his distrust of his sons? His accusation of their responsibility in the loss of Joseph?

Reuben is the oldest so he speaks for the group. But what a poor choice. Jacob knows Reuben has slept with Bilhah his concubine who had been Rachel’s maid. This happens shortly after Rachel’s death. Of course, Jacob learns of Reuben’s treachery.

Reuben tries to intervene when the brothers try to kill Joseph and manages to get Joseph thrown into a pit instead of murdered. However, Reuben finds Joseph has been sold in his absence. He fails to protect Jacob’s favorite.

Now the brothers have returned from Egypt with grain. They have told Joseph they are honest men and both they and Joseph know they are not honest. Does Jacob know this too?

I’ve always wondered:
Did Jacob believe the story of the wild animal tearing Joseph apart? Even with a blood-stained coat?
Did Jacob suspect his sons were treacherous enough to kill Joseph themselves? We see only Reuben’s intervention prevented that.
Did Reuben’s treachery with the concubine Bilhah increase Jacob’s suspicion?
Even when Reuben offers his own two sons’ lives if he doesn’t return with Simeon and Benjamin, Jacob still answers, “No”.

No evidence shows the brothers ever confessed the truth to their father or that Joseph told him. It appears to be the family secret everyone knows but no one admits.

This was a most dysfunctional family.

Losing someone’s trust is a devastating loss. It is such a huge piece of a relationship. I wonder how Jacob continued to live with sons surrounding him that he didn’t seem to trust. How did Jacob manage?

Were the sons so guilt-ridden they overcompensated in their service and loyalty? There is no way to be certain. But still, I hear in Jacob’s words no trust in his sons.