I dont think i can remember a time when I didn’t love Jesus. Not that I am so spiritually gifted or special in any way. However, I was blessed to have parents that took us to church. And when I was there…the Bible stories…Bible school in the summer…and our Youth Choir… were tools Abba God used to give me a love for Him.

Always, we were taught the sacrifice of Jesus. He died for our sin. Because of His sacrifice we were redeemed, forgiven and lavished with grace. To my young heart it was most assuredly the Good News.

The name of Jesus or in Hebrew Yeshua, was the dearest name I knew. But I had a problem and here comes my confession.

For the longest time I had an internal struggle. When I heard someone say ,”Yahweh”, it did not evoke the same heart response that Yeshua did. Not that I did not adore Yahweh…He is my Abba God…my everything. So I was distressed. What in the world was wrong with me?

Our Father is a holy God and He is jealous over His Name. I was undone over my struggle. So I took my broken heart to Abba and here is how He answered.

About a week or so after I prayed over my struggle and how I wanted desperately to feel the same way when I heard Yahweh as when I heard Yeshua…my answer came.

I was reading a devotion and the author was talking about our God’s Name. How the Jews would not even speak His Name for fear. They would say “Hashem” which in Hebrew means “The Name”. And then came my answer.

This author pointed out that Abba’s name is YHWH…no vowels…With no vowels we draw in a breath..”Yah” and exhale “Weh”…and my struggle was over. YHWH became as dear a name as I could ever know. I had been saying it incorrectly.

(I think probably living in the south with our long drawn out vowels did not help my dilemna.) The fault all lay with me and my wrong perception of how to pronounce the name.

I’ve thought about that day so much. How tenderly and lovingly Abba led me where I needed to be. I’ve thought too, that He breathed his life breath into Adam at creation…and now each time we breathe…we can remember…YHWH…the dearest Name.